Lifestyle, Humour, Health & Mindset

Diet DIY

So, you have decided to start a new healthy diet. The first thing you do is hit the web for some low cal meal and snack ideas before heading to the grocery store to stock up on all the healthy lifestyle necessities. But maybe you have it all wrong. Maybe the trusty Google has lead you astray, or maybe Pinterest’s health food boards have hijacked your common sense and tricked you into thinking Dorito crusted Kraft Dinner squares are a healthy bed time snack.

All over IG and Facebook people are posting their healthy meals #healthyeatsyo, but all I see is a shitstorm of ridiculous fad foods masquerading as nutritious snacks. Just because you filled a mason jar with food, doesn’t mean it’s healthy. Get a grip my friends and take a good hard look at what you are putting into your body.

I’ve compiled a list of popular ‘health’ foods that have crept into our lives but that may actually be contributing to your less than stellar physique. Not to judge…maybe you have a killer bod but your trashtastic diet might be what’s causing those low energy levels, poor skin, tummy troubles and restless sleep! NOW….before you get all bent out of shape by my list, I am not saying to never eat these things, I am just saying, be mindful, think about what you are putting in your body and don’t be a fad food follower.


quinoaThe good: It has the complete chain of amino acids just like meat which is why it has gained popularity, especially in the Vegan/Veg community. A great option for those on a meatless diet.

The ugly: It tastes a little like dirt. But besides that, eating too many grains such as quinoa, regardless of how healthy they are – can cause an overload of potentially gut-irritating compounds. Less than 15% of its calories come from protein and it really just isn’t necessary. We don’t need grains for energy, and as a nation we eat too much sugar. You are much better off consuming a yam/sweet potato in terms of nutrient quality , it will yield a better return.

Greek Yogurt

Greek yogurtThe good: It’s healthier than regular yogurt with half the sugar and almost 40% more protein. It’s also thick, creamy and totally delish.

The ugly: Unless it’s organic, dairy is loaded with antibiotics, hormones and can cause inflammation. Most of the time Greek yogurt is packed with artificial flavors or sweeteners, nuts, sugary fruit and even chocolate. Some Greek yogurts contain as much sugar as a chocolate bar and as much as a third of the total saturated fat you eat in a day. If you are going to indulge…hit the plain organic GY.


OatmealThe good: Oats have a lot of healthy qualities, don’t get me wrong. They are packed with soluble fiber, which reduces your low-density lipoprotein (LDL), the “bad” cholesterol. They are also fairly low on the glycemic index.

The ugly: I am a firm believer in nutrient timing and a carb laden breakfast such as oatmeal, (unless you just hit the gym hard and need to replenish those glyc stores), isn’t the most efficient way to start the day. Oatmeal spikes the blood sugar and even more so if it’s sprinkled with fruit, sugar, and/or milk. Try starting the day with protein – eggs, meat, and veggies. Or, if you just can’t drop the big O, try this.

Rice Cakes

rice-cakes-2The good: Nothing…there is nothing is good about rice cakes. Unless you thoroughly enjoy tasteless nutrient free styrofoam and crying into your sleeve.

The bad: Everything. Just stop right now.

Gluten free errrrthang

PancakesThe good: Are you intolerant to gluten, do you have celiac’s disease? If so, great, gluten free products are here to assist where necessary.

The bad: GF does not mean healthy, it does not mean unprocessed (it usually IS processed), and it does not mean sugar free. It literally means that it is free of the binding protein gluten. A gluten free cookie is equally as shitty for you as a gluten full cookie. The fact that you had a gluten free cookie today means you ate a cookie, a normal god damn cookie, with calories. #youlose


SmoothieThe good: Smoothies are quick, tasty and full of nutrients and fibre. Juice is refreshing, delicious, light and easy on the digestive track.

The bad: It’s easy to consume way too many calories when you are drinking them and if you are on a diet the last thing you need is sneaky calories. Also, smoothies and juices are FULL of sugar, literally, most smoothies/juices contain 40g of sugar or more. Juicing is even worse, because, with the fibre being removed in the juicing process there is nothing to slow the absorption and your blood sugar will be sent skyrocketing.


soy milkThe good: Ummm, I am not sure if there is any good.

The bad: Soy, besides corn, is the most genetically modified food on the planet. In western culture especially as the processing fails to removed anti nutrients and leaves us with a highly toxic carcinogenic substance. Processed soy contains phytates that block mineral absorption and trypsin inhibitors that block proper digestion. It has been linked to a host of problems such as thyroid conditions, infertility, cancer, brain damage and allergies. SO….do yourself a fave and cut those non-fat soy lattes out of your life right meow.

Whole Wheat Bread/Crackers


The good: Well, there is fibre in whole wheat and fibre is good.

The bad: ‘Whole wheat’ can literally be added to anything! Do you think those ‘whole wheat’ pop tarts are healthy? How about those ‘whole wheat’ Triscuits? Nope, no no no. Most of these products are made with enriched flour with is void of nutritional value and full of sugar! If you can’t ditch the bread then go for a sprouted live grain like Ezekiel.



OK OK, I will stop there because I could go on all day! Next time you want to get your diet back on track, stick to whole foods – meat, veggies, nuts (in moderation) and some fruit. Stay away from processed food and dairy whenever possible and watch for hidden sugar. Don’t get caught up in the hype of fun new health trends, Paleo treats and gluten free desserts. There is no way around eating healthy, you just have to learn to love depression food and embrace the suck, eventually your healthy food will taste half decent and eating nut butter will become your life’s greatest joy 😉


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