Lifestyle, Humour, Health & Mindset

Adulting Part II

Adulting Part II

I wrote a post about adulting about a year and a half ago, and looking back I still agree with 99% of it. I suggest you go back and read Part I before delving into this bad boy to fully understand where I’m coming from.

I still feel like I am faking my way through life. I still pretend like I know what I’m doing at work, I still dislike gardening, I still have no knowledge of wine, I still can’t really cook for a large group of people, I still eat many meals out of Tupperware or family sized mixing bowls and I would still usually rather eat peanut butter out of a jar than attend some sort of ladies wine night.

The only thing that has really changed since early 2016 is that I entered my 30’s and life got a little harder, shit got real, and I recently experienced some things that I thought only adults had to deal with (more on all of this at a later date)…so, I guess I’m a fucking adult whether I want to be or not.

This post is nothing more than a reflection of things that I still feel to be true about adulthood, and why being an adult is basically the absolute worst.

Adult friend making

It’s certainly not as easy to make new friends when you are a grown ass human. You know why…people already have friends. “Hi, I’m Kelley, I’m new here and I have no friends”…is a big weirdo red flag for people.

Like, “Hi Kelley, nice to meet you, wtf is wrong with you and why are you a friendless adult?”

Ok, maybe this is an exaggeration haha, I have friends and people are mostly nice, but trying to find a new BAE in a new city, that can relate to my level of lameness, workout obsession and my need to be in bed by 9pm is no easy task.

Pay attention to me but also leave me the fuck alone.

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Convincing employers you are qualified for a job

Applying for jobs is so much work and requires really being on your A-game.

It’s easy to talk the talk, and throw out big words…but do I really know anything???

Realizing you are not qualified for said job

Turns out no, I don’t really know anything. Why don’t I know anything? I’ve been working for so many years now and yet still feel unqualified for basically all the things. Does this feeling ever go away? #impostersyndrome

Winging my job, my eyeliner, my entire life @mystylesays

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Ughhh…why is this so important. You know what you don’t have to do as a kid…fucking network. Small talk, not for me. Smiling, not for me. Winning people over with my glowing charm and knowledge of politics…NOT FOR ME.

“So Kelley, what do you like to do other than CrossFit, fitness and sports?”  – people at networking events.

“Nap, pet puppies, eat all the food?” – me

Just the actual most awkward human ever. Please don’t make me network.

Ahh the story of my life Regram via @trainerpulse #awkward #embracethedorkiness #strangeisok #iamawkward #itsalifestyle

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Pension plans

Don’t do the calculations people, just don’t do it. Do not read that line on your pension plan that tells you how much money you will have to survive on when you retire. It’s not good. Oh and if you haven’t started saving for retirement…I’m sorry I even brought this up.

“Wow this girl likes to eat” – people looking at my bank statement @mybestiesays

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All the expenses

Whyyyyy is life so god damn expensive. The number of times I have thought about just pimping out my body is too many to count. I don’t think this bod would go for much though, and I don’t have any cool skills.

You know what’s expensive? Having a home. Eating. Bills. Driving. Keeping myself alive and trying not to look like a homeless person. I don’t even do real girl things like eyelash extensions, nails, or whatever the fuck else pretty girls do—my mascara cost $7, that’s all I can dedicate to looking decent.  And I’m not even talking about keeping kids alive at this point…cause that’s next level shit.

Sleep always prevails @mybestiesays

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When you realize your friends keep people alive for a living…and you’re just looking at memes all day

Unfortunately and fortunately, I have really smart friends. My friends are legit doctors, nurses, teachers, lawyers, social workers, scientists and coaches.

My friends are responsible for keeping people alive. For diagnosing illness. For keeping track of  children and teaching them things. The other day, I spent three hours laughing at memes in bed while just wearing a towel. I’m not saving the world working in marketing and communications. But, I guess someone has to tell the tales when my smart friends save people’s lives.

When u run out of elaborate excuses

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Getting fat

When you are an adult…it’s just plain harder to not be fat.

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat @mystylesays

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Adulting is hard…that is all. The only redeeming factor is that I can buy a cake whenever I want, for no reason, and eat it alone. This might also explain my above mentioned point about trying not to be a fat adult.

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