I recently turned 30, which means, I am a real life adult and I need to start behaving like one. You know what real life adults do—give less fucks.
Here are some things you should know about me: I am a HIGH stress, super negative, uber competitive, extremely stubborn, hyper perfectionist and I give way too many fucks about way too many things. In grade six, my teacher had to have a talk with my parents about how many fucks I gave. It was too many.
I figure now that I am entering the golden years of my life there is no better time than the present to perfect the art of not giving a fuck. Like Mark Manson says, “Fucks don’t grow on trees.” (Oh, and I would like to point out that this post is from 2016 and I wrote it before the hype of not giving a fuck was all the rage.)
If you are not familiar with this pop culture reference please refer to this article by Mark Manson, and this book , by Sarah Knight. Mark Manson also has a new book—The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. I also wrote this post before that book was published.
That being said, I thought I would jump on the banwagon and talk about the things I wish to give less fucks about in my life.
My plan to give less fucks.
I am pretty hard wired to give a lot of fucks, over think everything and stress myself out over meaningless shit. Now that I am an adult I plan to reserve my ever-dwindling fucks for only the most truly fuckworthy parts of my life: my family, my best friends, my career, and my horrendous inability to squat.
Other people’s opinions
I would be lying if I said that I didn’t care what people thought of me. Most of us care about the opinions and judgements of others. But, as I grow older, it matters less and less to me what other people think. 99.9% of the population have zero clue that I even exist and likely only care about themselves. So, if I want to wear a side pony and a uni-coloured sweat suit than fuck all y’all. At the end of the day, if I feel comfortable in my own skin and happy with my choices, that’s all that matters. #workinprogress
Step 1: Have a sense of self
I used to want allllll the friends. While I realize the importance of frienships, I now care more about meaningful relationships than I do about fleeting ones. Find your tribe because these people, your champions– they understand your quest. They make you feel good when you’re around them, make you laugh when you’re sad and they allow you to be yourself. I plan to give less fucks about the people that don’t matter and spend more time building the relationships that do.
Step 2: Love deeply
Drinking, partying and social affairs
If you know me than you know that I am absolutely zero fun. I drink and party probably 3-4 times a year. However, when I do party, I have a go hard or go home attitude about it. (I have almost zero recolection of my 30th bday!)
I used to feel bad about saying no to parties and social affairs but now I give very few fucks. The important people in my life realize this about me and are pretty cool about it. I have embraced that my body is that of a 75-year-old women and it needs to be taken care of and put to bed by 9:30pm. No mo FOMO.
Step 3: Be true to yourself
Money can’t buy happiness. Ok, maybe money can buy a little bit of happiness. But, what I do know is that happiness does not come from ‘things’. Living a meaningful, happy life is about creating, sharing and capturing memories earned through experiences that span the spectrum of life’s opportunities. So, while I have zero plans to quit my job and become a nomad, I do plan on spending a few less fucks worrying about material possessions and a few more on experiences and opportunities that will create lasting memories.
Step 4: Time is money, spend it wisely
I am not a risk taker. My level of YOLO is basically 0%. Successful people are usually risk takers…it pays to take risks.
Do you think Steve Jobs gave a fuck about failing, or adversity, or embarrassing himself? He gave zero fucks.
“When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.” – Ellen DeGeneres
Step 5: Don’t fear failure
This. Is. A. Doozy.
I give and have always given WAY too many fucks about my body. Society has really screwed us with this one. There is almost no way to escape the constant comparison, especially as a women and maybe even more so as a female athlete. Can we all just get together and agree to give zero fucks about this? We are all very different and very awesome, lets accept this fact and agree to embrace the body we were given and praise it for what it can do. I am working towards this, but it has been and always will be an epic struggle for me. Some days are better than others but one thing is certain now that I am grown ass women… it’s time to give less fucks.
Step 6: Love yourself
“If you find yourself consistently giving too many fucks about trivial shit that bothers you — your ex’s new Facebook picture, how quickly the batteries die in the TV remote, missing out on yet another 2-for-1 sale on hand sanitizer — chances are you don’t have much going on in your life to give a legitimate fuck about. And that’s your real problem. Not the hand sanitizer,” – Mark Manson.