Lifestyle, Nutrition and Health blog

I negative so hard

I negative so hard

Knock knock. 

Who’s there?

Kelley.

Kelley who?

Kelley, the worlds most negative human being.

Ya…that’s a pretty fucking terrible joke, because it’s not really a joke at all, it’s straight truths bruh.

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I’m not really sure why, but for whatever reason I came into this world with a pretty salty outlook on life. My mom says I was a happy baby, so I’m not really sure when things took a dark turn. I slipped by a pool when I was a toddler and cracked my chin open…maybe that was moment things went south. I quickly realized that life is slippery as fuck and I was going to have to watch out for #1 if I wanted to get anywhere in this world.

I’ve been pretty negative for as long as I can remember. If you read my blog, or know me, you know that my sense of humour often revolves around self-deprication, aggressive sarcasm and blunt truths. BUT, I never really realized the implications that my negative tude had on those around me until recently. Apparently, when you have negative shit to say about yourself, it can make other people feel bad about themselves…who knew?

Unfortunately I think the combination of being extremely competitive mixed with radical perfectionist tendencies and a sharp mouth can be futile, making it hard for people to really understand my behaviour or attitude at times. I wear my emotions on my sleeve: I love hard, work hard, stress hard, laugh hard and cry equally as hard.

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Anyway, enough about me and my negativity. I’ve been doing some research on how to become less negative—a quest I have been on for awhile now (3 news year resolutions in a row). So, as I move forward and try to become a happier less negative version of myself, I plan to put into action some of these tips.

Whoa…the internet just told me this fact: “Negativity can seriously lower your quality of life, prevent you from accomplishing your goals and even take years off your life by keeping a constant level of cortisol  circulating in your veins. It can even make you fatigued and fat.” – unknown scientist.

If you are a Debbie downer or manifest self-hate the same way I do, hopefully this helps! I was going to write this as a satire, but I felt like people would be very confused…so, on a serious note;

The internets tips for negativing less hard: 

  1. Admit you are a negative dick.

    Step one is admitting your negative attitude is affecting your life. Just like a rickety old drug addict you have to take the steps of a AA member to acknowledge you have a problem that needs fixing. I guess an addiction to being negative is about as bad as being addicted to drugs.

  2. Identify negative thought patterns.

    Negativity is the result of repeated thought patterns.The majority of the time, you aren’t trying to be negative, it just happens because your programmed that way. Try to break the patterns. Become mentally in tune with the words you speak and the thoughts you have and examine why you are thinking that way. Once you start to recognize your thoughts, it’s a step towards altering them.

  3. Remove toxic people from your life.

    Stop hanging’ with people who want to dim your light, bring you down, or make you feel like garbage. Social media can be a pretty big contributor to making you feel like a big ol bag of shitty Funyuns and causing you to manifest negative thoughts. Delete that trash from your life, spring cleaning style.

  4. Stop being sarcastic.

    Whoa whoa whoa..what? Turns out, sarcasm is negative and comes from a “deep-seeded bitterness.” I mean…maybe I am blind to this a little, and I know not everyone understands sarcasm…but, usually i’m just trying to get a laugh. Either way, the internet tells me out with sarcasm, so, it must be true. #RIPsarcasm

  5. Fact check.

    Most people operate under the assumption that their thoughts are reality…when, they really aren’t. “Your thoughts are just that: thoughts. When you have a bad one, you can ask yourself, ‘Is this actually true,” says cognitive behavioral therapist Jess Allen. By taking control, you have the power to let the air out of those thoughts instantly.

  6. Hang out with positive people.

    This seems pretty obvious. But, good vibes = good tribes. People with a sunny outlook on the world are just more fun to be around. Hang around some sunshiney peeps to help rid the negativity from your soul.

  7. Be grateful.

    I hit this baby up a lot, but that’s probably because it works. Make a daily list of everything you are grateful for. Some days it’s fucking hard…but you will ALWAYS have something to be grateful for even if it’s just the ability to wake up in the morning and breath fresh air. At least you woke up!!!

  8. Be less judgemental.

    Everyone has a story. You really have no idea what is going on behind closed doors in other peoples lives. Try to be a compassionate and understanding human being, even in the most frustrating circumstances—your patience could be the catalyst to making someone’s day better. Judge less, be open-minded, cool your god damn jets. Don’t be that person with #nochill.

  9. Humour.

    Ok, so, this one I can get behind! “Humor is the best cognitive trick,” says NYC-based behavioral counselor Anna Wilson. “So, instead of complaining in a negative way — you know, like whining — find the funny parts of your problems. Talking about your issues with humor will not only make you more pleasant to be around, but it will help you cultivate a sense of positivity when you’re feeling crappiest.”

  10. Shit could be worse.

    Always remember…SHIT COULD BE WORSE. Seriously though…just start typing into the Google search bar and you will quickly see some of the top fucked up searches that people legit look up. These are literally the TOP searches, like, WTF. This will remind you that shit really isn’t that bad after all, haha.
    Screen Shot 2017-08-11 at 11.05.42 PM

So that’s that my friends. Here’s the thing. When all is said and done, I’m not going to apologize for being who I am. I’m authentically me and I’m not for everyone. That doesn’t mean I am not willing to work on things about myself, call myself out on my own shitty behavior, or strive to become a more quality version of ol’ Kpups. Life is about continually learning and growing, becoming more rad and addressing potential downfalls while still embracing what makes us unique individuals.

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